A VIPER IN THE MIND

by Help

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03:30
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02:47
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02:11
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03:40
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03:02
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about

Help: Philosopher. Schizophrenic. Dying. Knows.

All the monetary contributions to this album are going to pay my exorbitant tuition. Thank you for your kindness.

credits

released 02 October 2012

All the beats stolen without permission from some of the most talented producers alive and operating. See track details for links.
Recorded/Mixed by Mitch Holtby.
Art by Joe Gurba / Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio

OLD UGLY Recording Co. // 2012 // OU0040
www.olduglyco.com

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Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

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about

Help Edmonton, Alberta

experiment: schizophrenic philosopher in his final hours tries to reconcile the phenomenon of a detachable ego with his elaborate epistemology.

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Track Name: Consciousness
PACKS THE SUITCASE / TIES THE SHOELACE
DISGUISE THE EYES, APPLIES THE MASK, NEW FACE
IS NO FACE
OLD BALACLAVA / NEW BLUE GLOVES FOR BLUE BLOOD
TRUE LOVE IS LOVE OF SELF, ///
BUT NO SELF IS SOMETHING ELSE, //
TRUE PEACE IS SOMEWHERE ELSE
THE NOT SELF ROTS IN HOT HELL
THE BELL TOLLS AND NOTHING HELPS,
/ CAUSE NO ONE’S HOME IN THIS HAUNTED HOUSE.
IT’S STRANGE TO KNOW THAT THERE IS NO ROOF
AND IF THERE IS
THERE IS NO PROOF, AND NO FOOT WILL TOUCH THE TOP OF IT
TELEOLOGY IS GOD OF MYTH
CONCSIOUS MIND INVENTS APOCOLYPSE, OBJECTIVELY IT’S THE OPPOSITE.
NEITHER NEGATIVE NOR POSITIVE. NO! (NONONONO)
IT HAPPENS THUS: WORLD APPEARS, LEARNS THE LINES, IMAGINES TIME,
MAKES OFFSPRING, MAKES FOOD AND THINGS FOR MONEY THEN DEPOSITS IT.
GOES HOME TO COOK AND PRAY AND LIVE, OFFERS THIS TO GOD AND MYTH.

WAKE UP AGAIN, THE LIGHT OF DAY IS COMING IN,
DESPITE THE ENDLESS THUNDERING AND HOLY GHOST MUMBLING
TIME WILL NEVER END, THERE IS NO TIME OUTSIDE THE MIND,
THE MIND WILL NEVER END, IT BENDS, THE VOICE FOREVER READS THE LINES.

//THE WUNDERKIND RETURNS TO WIND
WHILE OTHER CHILDREN STUMBLE IN ONTO AN EARTH THAT’S CRUMBLING
UNDER A SKY THAT CRUMPLING UNDER THE EYE OF GOD THE SELF, /
BECOMES THE HUMBLE UNDERLING OF DOUBT, DOUBTS THE VOICE IS TRULY SELF.
DOUBTS IT COMES FROM INSIDE OUT, DOUBTS IT HEARS THE CRY FOR HELP.
KNOWS THERE’S LITTLE KNOWN ABOUT / PHANTOM LIMBS AND LUCID DREAMS.

///LOOKS OUT AT MASSES // THROUGH NEURAL GLASSES
///SEES APPARITIONS // SEES HOLY VISIONS
///FEELS FEAR AND ANGER // HEARS HOLY STRANGERS
///LISTENS CAREFULLY BUT CAN’T FULLY ABSORB THE WISDOM
KNOWS THE BRAIN IS PISSED AND DOESN’T HAVE A POT TO PISS IN.
IT’S LIMITED SYSTEM’S GEARED TOWARDS PUTTING SOME KIDS IN
TO THE WORLD BEFORE IT’S FINISHED SO ANOTHER BRAIN PRAYS FOR RAIN
ENABLES CAIN TO WIPE OUT ABEL, WRITES THE FABLES, SEES THE VISIONS.
DECREES THE LAW, NOTHING WILL BE EATEN RAW.
NO ONE WILL BE NAKED AND THE MIND WILL CONQUER TOOTH AND CLAW.

WAKE UP AGAIN, THE LIGHT OF DAY IS COMING IN,
DESPITE THE ENDLESS THUNDERING AND HOLY GHOST MUMBLING
TIME WILL NEVER END, THERE IS NO TIME OUTSIDE THE MIND,
THE MIND WILL NEVER END, IT BENDS, THE VOICE FOREVER READS THE LINES.
Track Name: Equality
EQUALITY

guess what: none of you are going home,
you’re already stuck in your chromosomes,
born to be so alone, turn off your mobile phones.
lock the doors, take the bats out the fire alarms,
stop your maw, lock your jaw, talk is dead, stop your talk,
god is dead, pop one off, i’m on one, i am one,
Parmenides has entered me, i’m no enemy of entropy, i am of no identity,
i’m not throwing stones, i’m so alone, i know i’m prone to grow unknown
and board the boat alone to float away from flesh and bone.
so shut your mouth. your phone is off, your car is off, your soul is off,
you live for God and all for naught, do as you ought and I’ll call him off,
he’s coming and he’s hungry, all is lost, holy ghost holocaust,

you’re all gonna die
it’s gonna hurt
you will be gone
your flesh inert
you aren’t immortal,
your kids will die
it’s gonna hurt
you’re still inert

put on Gyges' ring, see if the nymphs will sing,
i guarantee they won’t, no one will talk to you.
society is on to you, you disappear
and no one will be calling you, you listen here,
you refuse to associate than you’ll be thrown away,
you sew and reap and earn and spend until yr overweight,
or else you won’t eat or drink or copulate,
wipe the smirk off your poker face and get to work.
HELP!
the tv aint gon watch itself, the cry for help is of no alert,
go to sleep go to work, go to sleep go to work,
buy a house, cry for help, no one comes, no one’s hurt,
here’s a mirror, talk to it,
a furtive word will curb your nerves so you can go to sleep than go to work,
go to sleep, go to work,
fall asleep return to dirt.
let the worm’s squirm, or else get in the urn,
nothing gained if nothing learned,
happiness feigned is hope deferred

we’re all gonna die
it’s gonna hurt
we will be gone
our flesh inert
we aren’t immortal,
our kids will die
it’s gonna hurt
we’re still inert

unlock the door, you can go and be adorable
i am not your oracle, i am not your door,
i do not believe in you, the fact that i am seeing you
is only cause i’ve been in you and you are my projections.
welcome to my universe. i know you all are caskets,
i’m trying to talk to me and all of you are holographic,
tell me if you’re hearing me, or is this another conspiracy
imposed by the doctors and their tyranny. no they don’t exist,
who’s flesh and bone is this, is this really me?
are we the one who’s killing me? who’s blood is this
in my capillaries? open them and let me bleed!
let my spirit leak from the filigree
veins that are filling me with pain and hostility!
no, i’m not of you
but you’re all of me.
now prepare to die,
this is equality.

you’re all gonna die
it’s gonna hurt

you aren’t immortal,
your kids will die
it’s gonna hurt
you’re still inert.
you’re all gonna die
it’s gonna hurt
I will be gone
My flesh inert
I’m not immortal,
I will die
it’s gonna hurt
I’m still inert
Track Name: Nothing
what do you deserve? nothing!
a warm place to burn? nothing!
some kind of heaven that you earned? nothing!
maybe just some bread and a place to lay your head? no nothing!
running water and a fridge? and an oven?
or a cage and a jailer and a penance? nothing!
no reward nor a punishment, not from God or the Government,
none of it, absolutely nothing!
what do you deserve, little ego unprepared?
is it health care? welfare? electric chair? nothing.
money in the bank or some fuel in the tank? nothing.
nothing, nothing.
let me tell you something you don’t deserve to know,
your needs are just assumptions based on almost nothing!
i know what you want! to get back in mummy’s oven!
nestled in the walls of love and warmth and safety and fuzzy nothing,

I’ll tell you what you want: to fall asleep and not be scared
to have your father’s fingers running through your hair
while you close your eyes and stare
into a fuzzy screen that doesn’t care
where you work or what you wear
and if you’re fiscally prepared for something.
do you deserve a banquet or a dungeon?
you deserve nothing, a portal into nothing,
abandon all your wants and give your heart away to love,
cause love imbues the very essence of mental nothing,
i kill a beast so I can eat and both of us are loving.
I’m the beast that God will eat, welcome home to nothing!
immolation is a sacrifice you never knew you wanted
cause you didn’t understand a world that’s fully haunted,
You wear the mask and wear it proud cause underneath it’s nothing,
if you took it off you would understand nothing!
Let the nothing lead you pitter patter into senselessness
where you’ll be more and more sensitive with less and less to sense.
in the cosmic depth the love you feel is dense,
intensely embedded in the forever tense. forever.
you don’t have to shit or eat or cleanse or make amends,
you’re engulphed by an immense love equivocal to rest,
your words are heard by everyone that lives inside of you
so speak kindly when you do cause you don’t wanna waste a breath,
close your eyes and exit from the world that isn’t true.
put your palm on nothing’s breast, enter life inside of death.
Track Name: Apocalypse
apocalypse now slash never slash soon,
bay of the hounds at the sun, at the moon.
here we are now, we’ve arrived at the start line,
living through a prologue tryna know God.
we’ve seen the sullen sky open as the ladder lowered
we’ve felt the angel fire soaking earth a bloody ochre.
heard the son of man drum the land while jezebel,
pretends that every temple built for baal stands and never fell.
samson’s here to tear it down, here’s a jaw bone,
ezekiel’s surrounded by a field of raw bones,
rattling, rattling, all we need is a jar and a torch
to get to battlin, battlin, where’s the retort?
where’s the report from the papers, chanting
four more years, four more years, four more years (lap the word four over the word years)
as the sky scrapers slump in vapors
oh the war torn sphere, our desolated belvedere.
where the help is near but doesn’t arrive, nothing survives...

the sky can crack
and the clouds can mount
and the feet of God
can thunder down
but when he returns
to purge and to burn
we may have already
poured earth in an urn

the sky can crack
and the clouds can mount
and the feet of God
can thunder down
but when he returns
//////we may have already
poured earth in an urn


or maybe not. maybe the world won’t be as hot
as everybody thought, maybe we’ll finally stop
adding meaningless to meaninglessness
meaning that this post king solomon trist will cease to exist,
that the material world with simply unfurl and we’ll condense into pearls
perhaps, uncurl your maps, let’s take a look at the population graphs,
perhaps if somehow this was cut in half
the ocean won’t become a bubble bath,
the drunken world will finally stumble back to it’s original habitat.
imagine that, as a matter’ fact
i’m not a fear monger and i embrace a clean grave
but we’ve all had dreams where the earth is in a green haze
we’ve all read dystopian novels and opened the bottles
and drinken whatever helps us forget that we’re awful.
maybe the machine is a mechanic idol we all need to topple,
maybe elijah’s soaked the firewood in water and it still burns.

burn baby burn
burn baby burn
we all wanna know
when’s it our turn
how will we escape
from out of this foul urn
when are we gonna learn
is God gonna return?

the sky can crack
and the clouds can mount
and the feet of God
can thunder down
but when he returns
to purge and to burn
we may have already
poured earth in an urn
Track Name: Drugs
OFF A TABLE MADE OF MIRRORS
YOU BREATHE IT AND DISAPPEAR
INTO A FAIRY LAND WHERE YOU FEEL PHYSICALLY UNSTOPPABLE
FOR TWENTY TO THIRTY MINUTES
YOUR BODY, SPIRIT, AND IMAGE,
IS TO YOU, AT LEAST TO YOU, CAPABLE OF THE IMPOSSIBLE.
BUT SOON YOU START TO FEEL
LIKE NONE OF YOUR FRIENDS ARE REAL
AND THEY'RE ALL PLOTTING TO KILL YOU WHEN YOU GO TO SLEEP,
AND TO YOU IT SEEMS LOGICAL
TO GO AND BY A POCKET FULL
OF BULLETS FOR THE GUN YOU KNOW YOU NEED.
AND NOW YOU HAVE TROUBLE DOZING
AND YOUR SEPTUM IS CORRODING
AND YOU BEGIN TO MUMBLE MADLY WHEN YOU SLEEP:

IT'S TIME TO BOYCOTT, THE WHOLE WORLD
MAKE THE NOISE STOP, THE WHOLE WORLD
X2
DT: i think they're on to me,
they made a mockery of sodomy with their awful colonoscopy
i woke up in the desert with all my clothes taken off of me,
my nose aint working properly, my eyelids are like anvils
time is at a standstill making mountains out of ant hills,
and i've been taking handfulls of advils and other bad pills.

I'M QUITE AWARE THAT YOU'RE UNAWARE,
GUN IN YOUR UNDERWEAR
COCAINE UNDER THERE
CLOCKTOWER CLIMBING
I'M AWARE THAT YOU ACTUALLY
BELIEVE THE WORLD IS AFTER THEE,
THAT ALIENS HAD CAPTURED THEE
AND THAT'S WHY YOU'RE CRYING
YR ARMS SCRAPED TO HELL AND BACK
BUT THE BUG IS STILL INTACT
AND EVERYONE IS ONE OF THEM
SO EVERYONE IS DYING.
BESIDES, THE WORLD IS BURNING OUT,
AND THAT'S A FACT WITHOUT A DOUBT
AND NONE OF THEM ARE GOING TO HELP
THE ONLY CURE IS VIOLENCE,
AND WHERE IS GOD, HE WANDERED OFF,
THE ALIENS JUST WANNA TALK
AND SINCE HE'S GONE THEY TALK TO YOU
ALL YOU WANT IS SILENCE!!
YOU CAN HARDLY HEAR YR THOUGHTS,
THEY TELL YOU EVERYONE'S A COP,
YOU JUST WANT THE NOISE TO STOP,
NOW WE HEAR THE SIRENS.


IT'S TIME TO BOYCOTT, THE WHOLE WORLD
MAKE THE NOISE STOP, THE WHOLE WORLD
BOYCOTT, THE WHOLE WORLD
MAKE THE NOISE STOP, THE WHOLE WORLD

NOW YOU'RE ABOVE THE CAMPUS,
IT'S AN ALIENATED AMBUSH
ON THIS SECRET POLICE STATE
THAT'S BEEN KEEPING YOU AWAKE AT NIGHT AND FAMISHED
CAUSE THEY'RE POISONING YOUR SANDWICH
BUT YOU'RE SMARTER THAN THEY'D IMAGINED,
YOU MUST TELL THE WORLD THE TRUTH SOMEHOW:
THE MINDS OF MEN ARE DAMAGED.
WHEN A MAN'S IN CONSTANT PERIL
ONLY BULLETS GIVE HIM SILENCE
AS THE BULLET LEAVES THE BARREL
RINGING QUIET DIPS HIS EYELIDS
IT MAKES THE NATION STERILE,
AS THE BANG UNPEELS THE NOISES.
OH THE SILENT SMOKING BARREL,
FINALLY WE DON'T HEAR THE VOICES.
Track Name: Money
i’m so money, you know... money, yall are nobody
without the dough from me, no bread, no yummy,
begging for the bread, nose runny, clothes dutty,
nobody knows money, i should know, i’m money,
you don’t love me, you go hungry, y’bones dusty, old ugly,
OLD UGLY, i don’t care if you don’t study, so long as you grow tubby
tryna get the dough from me ...big dummy,
ask dougy, ask tubby, ask bernard shaw or major barb,
you gotta be an undershaft or else you get the undershaft,
I AM power, you understand? suffering suckotash!
get the fuck up out my bubble bath, MONEY
you gotta sleep with uncle sam, MONEY
either you grope his supple ass or drag your knuckles man,
de-evolve i’m so money, bleed it yall,
i’m selected for,
i’m in your wallet like a pain in the ass
that slowly fucks up your back
but i’m the one yr asking seconds for,
i’m the weapon and the war, either or,
dolla bill carnivoire,
the whole earth is my dolla store
I’M THE ONE THEY HOLLA FOR, THE GOD OF WAR,
cause my holographic strip is a hollow point tip
anointed and crown appointed, the earth is on fire and i’m the only ointment!
the cheque will not be voided, destruction unavoided, flush goes the toilet,
i’m worth everything you make me worth,
and that’s clearly heaven hell and earth, all within the purse,
in all the universe i am first.
if this is adam’s curse then everyone’s immersed,
you all rehearse for the hearse from the day of your birth
cause if you hunger or thirst you gotta go through the purse.
Track Name: Le Deluge
WHERE DO YOU INTEND TO GO?
COVERED IN DARKNESS, HEAD TO TOE
BALACLAVA'D IN THE SOUL,
VIPER IN THE MIND AND TIME
FLOWS THROUGH YOUR EYES INTO YOUR TEMPORAL LOBE.
WHAT'S GOD IS EDIBLE, FATHER FEELINGS OEDIPAL,
DESTROY THE FATHER, LET HIM GO,
MOURN FOR HIM, HE KNEW WHAT YOU WILL NEVER KNOW.
ARE YOU AN AVATAR? ARE YOU GOD ON EARTH?
ARE YOU THE CHICKEN OR THE EGG OR DID THE THOUGHT COME FIRST?
GOOD QUESTION. YOU I WE US PRONOUNS EGREGIOUS, I MUST LEARN THIS LESSON,
MY GRIP ON EARTH MUST LESSEN.
THE SUN IS SETTIN, IT'S SETTIN IN THE WEST SO,
I AM WESTWARD BOUND TO BATTLE DEATH WITHIN THIS VESSEL.
I AM MARDUK, I BUILD MY WORLD FROM VANQUISHED FOES
AND MY MIND WILL DIG CANALS AND IRRIGATE MY ANGUISHED SOUL.
PLACE A COIN ON MY TONGUE, SO I CAN PAY MY TOLL,
TAKE ME CROSS THE RIVER STYX, PERSEPHONE'LL MAKE ME GROW.

FROM THE WATER
FROM THE WATER
FROM THE WATER
FROM THE WATER
ATRAHASIS, UTNAPISHTIM, NOAH, DEUCALION
THE WAVES WILL BEAT AGAINST THE SHORE DESPITE THE HOMOSAPIENS
LIFE WILL SPRING FROM ANYTHING FOR ISIS NURSES EVERYONE
BUT LIFE IS IN THE PENDULUM THAT POWER CAN'T DEFEND YOU FROM

ZEUS LOCKED HIS DADDY IN HELL,
BUT HIS DADDY RETURNED ON THE CLOCK,
AND HIS DADDY IS ALIVE AND WELL,
HE USES OUR ALARMS TO TO TO TALK,
HIS BIG HAND AND LITTLE HAND ARE WRAPPED ROUND MY NECK
WHILE MARX BLASPHEMES THE CLOCK ON THE ALTAR OF YOUR BOSSES DESK
KRONOS WILL EAT YOUR CHILDREN, WHERE IS ZEUS TO STOP HIM,
KRONOS KILLED HIS FATHER CHAOS SO YOU CAN'T GET THE DAY OFF
WE'D SEND HIM BACK TO HELL BUT TARTARUS WAS LAID OFF,
AND NOW THEY'RE SELLING DOLLARS FOR DOLLARS IN THIS DECADENT GOTHAM,

THE FORECAST IS CALLING FOR RAIN, YOU WONDER WHAT DAD WILL SAY,
YOU WONDER IF TIME REMAINS OR IF IT'S JUST IN THE BRAIN,
BRING THE KIDS TO BE SLAIN, ADDRESS THE ONE WHENCE YOU CAME,
EVERYONE KNOWS THAT GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO PRAY!

YOU HEAR THEM IN THE STREET, APRES MOI LE DELUGE!
THE WATER HITS YOUR FEET, EVERYONE'S GONNA LOSE!
YOUR BANK BEGINS TO FLOOD, YOU START TO BUILD AN ARC!
BUT IT'S TOO LATE TO START, THIS IS THE PART WHERE DARK EMBARKS:

FROM THE WATER
FROM THE WATER
FROM THE WATER
FROM THE WATER
ATRAHASIS, UTNAPISHTIM, NOAH, DEUCALION
THE WAVES WILL BEAT AGAINST THE SHORE DESPITE THE HOMOSAPIENS
LIFE WILL SPRING FROM ANYTHING FOR ISIS NURSES EVERYONE
BUT LIFE IS IN THE PENDULUM THAT POWER CAN'T DEFEND YOU FROM
Track Name: Entropy
ENTROPY

I’M ALL ALONE
IN A BRAVE NEW WORLD
IN A BRAVE NEW WORLD
IN A BRAVE NEW WORLD
oh

i woke up very distressed //
feeling like i’m on the mary celeste //
the whole ships being carried away
Dionysus and I watch the berries decay
oh
I go to dust my bust of freud,
is it I or my libido that was just destroyed?,
just reflected onto mirrored waters
that appear unbothered, am I paranoid?
oh
everywhere yellow machinery,
dreary scenery, perhaps God is dreaming me?
these white coated creatures are poltergeists
come to haunt the only light alive in this lonely night
oh
I don’t believe a word that they’re telling me,
smoke and mirrors, smoke and mirrors,
I know I’m alone in here but I’m soaked in fear
that open ears can hear what God is telling me!

CHORUS

time for the reconstruction! //
i’ll build the world from scratch! //
no authority no corruption! //
just God and I, no strings attached! //

equals at last, co-creators
like minded creatures in a barren vast theatre
the Bard would be proud of this world in a bottle
but i’m feeling like Othello now and God is Iago!

whispering and whispering and making me
believe that my situation is all make believe //
but now I know you’re only here to cause me agony
by repeating the same things the poltergeists would say to me
oh
so now you’ve betrayed me too, huh,
you think i’m crazy too, huh,
you want me to take the soma powder
and believe this cruel culture over powers ours???

CHORUS

L take the knife now,
R no, put the knife down,
L if i go it all goes
R i can’t turn the lights out.
L the universe has chosen you
R I think I finally understand
L you know what you’re suppose to do
R I’m the one, the son of man.

it depends on me
to let the energy descend on these
entities
to let the tendancy towards homogeneity
fine’ly achieve the death of heat—
total entropy—
the way that it was meant to be.

CHORUS
Track Name: Nothing (reprise)
what do you deserve? nothing.
a warm place to burn? nothing.
some kind of heaven that you earned? nothing.
maybe just some bread and a place to lay your head? no nothing.
running water and a fridge? and an oven?
or a cage and a jailer and a penance? nothing.
no reward nor a punishment, not from God or the Government,
none of it, absolutely nothing!
what do you deserve, little ego unprepared?
is it health care? welfare? electric chair? nothing.
money in the bank or some fuel in the tank? nothing.
nothing, nothing.
let me tell you something you don’t deserve to know,
your needs are just assumptions based on almost nothing.
i know what you want, to get back in mummy’s oven.
nestled in the walls of love and warmth and safety and fuzzy nothing,

I’ll tell you what you want: to fall asleep and not be scared
to have your father’s fingers running through your hair
while you close your eyes and stare
into a fuzzy screen that doesn’t care
where you work or what you wear
and if you’re fiscally prepared for something.
do you deserve a banquet or a dungeon?
you deserve nothing, a portal into nothing,
abandon all your wants and give your heart away to love,
cause love imbues the very essence of mental nothing,
i kill a beast so I can eat and both of us are loving.
I’m the beast that God will eat, welcome home to nothing!
immolation is a sacrifice you never knew you wanted
cause you didn’t understand a world that’s fully haunted,
You wear the mask and wear it proud cause underneath it’s nothing,
if you took it off you would understand nothing!
Let the nothing lead you pitter patter into senselessness
where you’ll be more and more sensitive with less and less to sense.
in the cosmic depth the love you feel is dense,
intensely embedded in the forever tense. forever.
you don’t have to shit or eat or cleanse or make amends,
you’re engulphed by an immense love equivocal to rest,
your words are heard by everyone that lives inside of you
so speak kindly when you do cause you don’t wanna waste a breath,
close your eyes and exit from the world that isn’t true.
put your palm on nothing’s breast, enter life inside of death.