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A VIPER IN THE MIND

by Help

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1.
PACKS THE SUITCASE / TIES THE SHOELACE DISGUISE THE EYES, APPLIES THE MASK, NEW FACE IS NO FACE OLD BALACLAVA / NEW BLUE GLOVES FOR BLUE BLOOD TRUE LOVE IS LOVE OF SELF, /// BUT NO SELF IS SOMETHING ELSE, // TRUE PEACE IS SOMEWHERE ELSE THE NOT SELF ROTS IN HOT HELL THE BELL TOLLS AND NOTHING HELPS, / CAUSE NO ONE’S HOME IN THIS HAUNTED HOUSE. IT’S STRANGE TO KNOW THAT THERE IS NO ROOF AND IF THERE IS THERE IS NO PROOF, AND NO FOOT WILL TOUCH THE TOP OF IT TELEOLOGY IS GOD OF MYTH CONCSIOUS MIND INVENTS APOCOLYPSE, OBJECTIVELY IT’S THE OPPOSITE. NEITHER NEGATIVE NOR POSITIVE. NO! (NONONONO) IT HAPPENS THUS: WORLD APPEARS, LEARNS THE LINES, IMAGINES TIME, MAKES OFFSPRING, MAKES FOOD AND THINGS FOR MONEY THEN DEPOSITS IT. GOES HOME TO COOK AND PRAY AND LIVE, OFFERS THIS TO GOD AND MYTH. WAKE UP AGAIN, THE LIGHT OF DAY IS COMING IN, DESPITE THE ENDLESS THUNDERING AND HOLY GHOST MUMBLING TIME WILL NEVER END, THERE IS NO TIME OUTSIDE THE MIND, THE MIND WILL NEVER END, IT BENDS, THE VOICE FOREVER READS THE LINES. //THE WUNDERKIND RETURNS TO WIND WHILE OTHER CHILDREN STUMBLE IN ONTO AN EARTH THAT’S CRUMBLING UNDER A SKY THAT CRUMPLING UNDER THE EYE OF GOD THE SELF, / BECOMES THE HUMBLE UNDERLING OF DOUBT, DOUBTS THE VOICE IS TRULY SELF. DOUBTS IT COMES FROM INSIDE OUT, DOUBTS IT HEARS THE CRY FOR HELP. KNOWS THERE’S LITTLE KNOWN ABOUT / PHANTOM LIMBS AND LUCID DREAMS. ///LOOKS OUT AT MASSES // THROUGH NEURAL GLASSES ///SEES APPARITIONS // SEES HOLY VISIONS ///FEELS FEAR AND ANGER // HEARS HOLY STRANGERS ///LISTENS CAREFULLY BUT CAN’T FULLY ABSORB THE WISDOM KNOWS THE BRAIN IS PISSED AND DOESN’T HAVE A POT TO PISS IN. IT’S LIMITED SYSTEM’S GEARED TOWARDS PUTTING SOME KIDS IN TO THE WORLD BEFORE IT’S FINISHED SO ANOTHER BRAIN PRAYS FOR RAIN ENABLES CAIN TO WIPE OUT ABEL, WRITES THE FABLES, SEES THE VISIONS. DECREES THE LAW, NOTHING WILL BE EATEN RAW. NO ONE WILL BE NAKED AND THE MIND WILL CONQUER TOOTH AND CLAW. WAKE UP AGAIN, THE LIGHT OF DAY IS COMING IN, DESPITE THE ENDLESS THUNDERING AND HOLY GHOST MUMBLING TIME WILL NEVER END, THERE IS NO TIME OUTSIDE THE MIND, THE MIND WILL NEVER END, IT BENDS, THE VOICE FOREVER READS THE LINES.
2.
Equality 03:56
EQUALITY guess what: none of you are going home, you’re already stuck in your chromosomes, born to be so alone, turn off your mobile phones. lock the doors, take the bats out the fire alarms, stop your maw, lock your jaw, talk is dead, stop your talk, god is dead, pop one off, i’m on one, i am one, Parmenides has entered me, i’m no enemy of entropy, i am of no identity, i’m not throwing stones, i’m so alone, i know i’m prone to grow unknown and board the boat alone to float away from flesh and bone. so shut your mouth. your phone is off, your car is off, your soul is off, you live for God and all for naught, do as you ought and I’ll call him off, he’s coming and he’s hungry, all is lost, holy ghost holocaust, you’re all gonna die it’s gonna hurt you will be gone your flesh inert you aren’t immortal, your kids will die it’s gonna hurt you’re still inert put on Gyges' ring, see if the nymphs will sing, i guarantee they won’t, no one will talk to you. society is on to you, you disappear and no one will be calling you, you listen here, you refuse to associate than you’ll be thrown away, you sew and reap and earn and spend until yr overweight, or else you won’t eat or drink or copulate, wipe the smirk off your poker face and get to work. HELP! the tv aint gon watch itself, the cry for help is of no alert, go to sleep go to work, go to sleep go to work, buy a house, cry for help, no one comes, no one’s hurt, here’s a mirror, talk to it, a furtive word will curb your nerves so you can go to sleep than go to work, go to sleep, go to work, fall asleep return to dirt. let the worm’s squirm, or else get in the urn, nothing gained if nothing learned, happiness feigned is hope deferred we’re all gonna die it’s gonna hurt we will be gone our flesh inert we aren’t immortal, our kids will die it’s gonna hurt we’re still inert unlock the door, you can go and be adorable i am not your oracle, i am not your door, i do not believe in you, the fact that i am seeing you is only cause i’ve been in you and you are my projections. welcome to my universe. i know you all are caskets, i’m trying to talk to me and all of you are holographic, tell me if you’re hearing me, or is this another conspiracy imposed by the doctors and their tyranny. no they don’t exist, who’s flesh and bone is this, is this really me? are we the one who’s killing me? who’s blood is this in my capillaries? open them and let me bleed! let my spirit leak from the filigree veins that are filling me with pain and hostility! no, i’m not of you but you’re all of me. now prepare to die, this is equality. you’re all gonna die it’s gonna hurt you aren’t immortal, your kids will die it’s gonna hurt you’re still inert. you’re all gonna die it’s gonna hurt I will be gone My flesh inert I’m not immortal, I will die it’s gonna hurt I’m still inert
3.
Nothing 02:44
what do you deserve? nothing! a warm place to burn? nothing! some kind of heaven that you earned? nothing! maybe just some bread and a place to lay your head? no nothing! running water and a fridge? and an oven? or a cage and a jailer and a penance? nothing! no reward nor a punishment, not from God or the Government, none of it, absolutely nothing! what do you deserve, little ego unprepared? is it health care? welfare? electric chair? nothing. money in the bank or some fuel in the tank? nothing. nothing, nothing. let me tell you something you don’t deserve to know, your needs are just assumptions based on almost nothing! i know what you want! to get back in mummy’s oven! nestled in the walls of love and warmth and safety and fuzzy nothing, I’ll tell you what you want: to fall asleep and not be scared to have your father’s fingers running through your hair while you close your eyes and stare into a fuzzy screen that doesn’t care where you work or what you wear and if you’re fiscally prepared for something. do you deserve a banquet or a dungeon? you deserve nothing, a portal into nothing, abandon all your wants and give your heart away to love, cause love imbues the very essence of mental nothing, i kill a beast so I can eat and both of us are loving. I’m the beast that God will eat, welcome home to nothing! immolation is a sacrifice you never knew you wanted cause you didn’t understand a world that’s fully haunted, You wear the mask and wear it proud cause underneath it’s nothing, if you took it off you would understand nothing! Let the nothing lead you pitter patter into senselessness where you’ll be more and more sensitive with less and less to sense. in the cosmic depth the love you feel is dense, intensely embedded in the forever tense. forever. you don’t have to shit or eat or cleanse or make amends, you’re engulphed by an immense love equivocal to rest, your words are heard by everyone that lives inside of you so speak kindly when you do cause you don’t wanna waste a breath, close your eyes and exit from the world that isn’t true. put your palm on nothing’s breast, enter life inside of death.
4.
Apocalypse 03:30
apocalypse now slash never slash soon, bay of the hounds at the sun, at the moon. here we are now, we’ve arrived at the start line, living through a prologue tryna know God. we’ve seen the sullen sky open as the ladder lowered we’ve felt the angel fire soaking earth a bloody ochre. heard the son of man drum the land while jezebel, pretends that every temple built for baal stands and never fell. samson’s here to tear it down, here’s a jaw bone, ezekiel’s surrounded by a field of raw bones, rattling, rattling, all we need is a jar and a torch to get to battlin, battlin, where’s the retort? where’s the report from the papers, chanting four more years, four more years, four more years (lap the word four over the word years) as the sky scrapers slump in vapors oh the war torn sphere, our desolated belvedere. where the help is near but doesn’t arrive, nothing survives... the sky can crack and the clouds can mount and the feet of God can thunder down but when he returns to purge and to burn we may have already poured earth in an urn the sky can crack and the clouds can mount and the feet of God can thunder down but when he returns //////we may have already poured earth in an urn or maybe not. maybe the world won’t be as hot as everybody thought, maybe we’ll finally stop adding meaningless to meaninglessness meaning that this post king solomon trist will cease to exist, that the material world with simply unfurl and we’ll condense into pearls perhaps, uncurl your maps, let’s take a look at the population graphs, perhaps if somehow this was cut in half the ocean won’t become a bubble bath, the drunken world will finally stumble back to it’s original habitat. imagine that, as a matter’ fact i’m not a fear monger and i embrace a clean grave but we’ve all had dreams where the earth is in a green haze we’ve all read dystopian novels and opened the bottles and drinken whatever helps us forget that we’re awful. maybe the machine is a mechanic idol we all need to topple, maybe elijah’s soaked the firewood in water and it still burns. burn baby burn burn baby burn we all wanna know when’s it our turn how will we escape from out of this foul urn when are we gonna learn is God gonna return? the sky can crack and the clouds can mount and the feet of God can thunder down but when he returns to purge and to burn we may have already poured earth in an urn
5.
Drugs 02:47
OFF A TABLE MADE OF MIRRORS YOU BREATHE IT AND DISAPPEAR INTO A FAIRY LAND WHERE YOU FEEL PHYSICALLY UNSTOPPABLE FOR TWENTY TO THIRTY MINUTES YOUR BODY, SPIRIT, AND IMAGE, IS TO YOU, AT LEAST TO YOU, CAPABLE OF THE IMPOSSIBLE. BUT SOON YOU START TO FEEL LIKE NONE OF YOUR FRIENDS ARE REAL AND THEY'RE ALL PLOTTING TO KILL YOU WHEN YOU GO TO SLEEP, AND TO YOU IT SEEMS LOGICAL TO GO AND BY A POCKET FULL OF BULLETS FOR THE GUN YOU KNOW YOU NEED. AND NOW YOU HAVE TROUBLE DOZING AND YOUR SEPTUM IS CORRODING AND YOU BEGIN TO MUMBLE MADLY WHEN YOU SLEEP: IT'S TIME TO BOYCOTT, THE WHOLE WORLD MAKE THE NOISE STOP, THE WHOLE WORLD X2 DT: i think they're on to me, they made a mockery of sodomy with their awful colonoscopy i woke up in the desert with all my clothes taken off of me, my nose aint working properly, my eyelids are like anvils time is at a standstill making mountains out of ant hills, and i've been taking handfulls of advils and other bad pills. I'M QUITE AWARE THAT YOU'RE UNAWARE, GUN IN YOUR UNDERWEAR COCAINE UNDER THERE CLOCKTOWER CLIMBING I'M AWARE THAT YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE THE WORLD IS AFTER THEE, THAT ALIENS HAD CAPTURED THEE AND THAT'S WHY YOU'RE CRYING YR ARMS SCRAPED TO HELL AND BACK BUT THE BUG IS STILL INTACT AND EVERYONE IS ONE OF THEM SO EVERYONE IS DYING. BESIDES, THE WORLD IS BURNING OUT, AND THAT'S A FACT WITHOUT A DOUBT AND NONE OF THEM ARE GOING TO HELP THE ONLY CURE IS VIOLENCE, AND WHERE IS GOD, HE WANDERED OFF, THE ALIENS JUST WANNA TALK AND SINCE HE'S GONE THEY TALK TO YOU ALL YOU WANT IS SILENCE!! YOU CAN HARDLY HEAR YR THOUGHTS, THEY TELL YOU EVERYONE'S A COP, YOU JUST WANT THE NOISE TO STOP, NOW WE HEAR THE SIRENS. IT'S TIME TO BOYCOTT, THE WHOLE WORLD MAKE THE NOISE STOP, THE WHOLE WORLD BOYCOTT, THE WHOLE WORLD MAKE THE NOISE STOP, THE WHOLE WORLD NOW YOU'RE ABOVE THE CAMPUS, IT'S AN ALIENATED AMBUSH ON THIS SECRET POLICE STATE THAT'S BEEN KEEPING YOU AWAKE AT NIGHT AND FAMISHED CAUSE THEY'RE POISONING YOUR SANDWICH BUT YOU'RE SMARTER THAN THEY'D IMAGINED, YOU MUST TELL THE WORLD THE TRUTH SOMEHOW: THE MINDS OF MEN ARE DAMAGED. WHEN A MAN'S IN CONSTANT PERIL ONLY BULLETS GIVE HIM SILENCE AS THE BULLET LEAVES THE BARREL RINGING QUIET DIPS HIS EYELIDS IT MAKES THE NATION STERILE, AS THE BANG UNPEELS THE NOISES. OH THE SILENT SMOKING BARREL, FINALLY WE DON'T HEAR THE VOICES.
6.
Money 02:11
i’m so money, you know... money, yall are nobody without the dough from me, no bread, no yummy, begging for the bread, nose runny, clothes dutty, nobody knows money, i should know, i’m money, you don’t love me, you go hungry, y’bones dusty, old ugly, OLD UGLY, i don’t care if you don’t study, so long as you grow tubby tryna get the dough from me ...big dummy, ask dougy, ask tubby, ask bernard shaw or major barb, you gotta be an undershaft or else you get the undershaft, I AM power, you understand? suffering suckotash! get the fuck up out my bubble bath, MONEY you gotta sleep with uncle sam, MONEY either you grope his supple ass or drag your knuckles man, de-evolve i’m so money, bleed it yall, i’m selected for, i’m in your wallet like a pain in the ass that slowly fucks up your back but i’m the one yr asking seconds for, i’m the weapon and the war, either or, dolla bill carnivoire, the whole earth is my dolla store I’M THE ONE THEY HOLLA FOR, THE GOD OF WAR, cause my holographic strip is a hollow point tip anointed and crown appointed, the earth is on fire and i’m the only ointment! the cheque will not be voided, destruction unavoided, flush goes the toilet, i’m worth everything you make me worth, and that’s clearly heaven hell and earth, all within the purse, in all the universe i am first. if this is adam’s curse then everyone’s immersed, you all rehearse for the hearse from the day of your birth cause if you hunger or thirst you gotta go through the purse.
7.
Le Deluge 03:40
WHERE DO YOU INTEND TO GO? COVERED IN DARKNESS, HEAD TO TOE BALACLAVA'D IN THE SOUL, VIPER IN THE MIND AND TIME FLOWS THROUGH YOUR EYES INTO YOUR TEMPORAL LOBE. WHAT'S GOD IS EDIBLE, FATHER FEELINGS OEDIPAL, DESTROY THE FATHER, LET HIM GO, MOURN FOR HIM, HE KNEW WHAT YOU WILL NEVER KNOW. ARE YOU AN AVATAR? ARE YOU GOD ON EARTH? ARE YOU THE CHICKEN OR THE EGG OR DID THE THOUGHT COME FIRST? GOOD QUESTION. YOU I WE US PRONOUNS EGREGIOUS, I MUST LEARN THIS LESSON, MY GRIP ON EARTH MUST LESSEN. THE SUN IS SETTIN, IT'S SETTIN IN THE WEST SO, I AM WESTWARD BOUND TO BATTLE DEATH WITHIN THIS VESSEL. I AM MARDUK, I BUILD MY WORLD FROM VANQUISHED FOES AND MY MIND WILL DIG CANALS AND IRRIGATE MY ANGUISHED SOUL. PLACE A COIN ON MY TONGUE, SO I CAN PAY MY TOLL, TAKE ME CROSS THE RIVER STYX, PERSEPHONE'LL MAKE ME GROW. FROM THE WATER FROM THE WATER FROM THE WATER FROM THE WATER ATRAHASIS, UTNAPISHTIM, NOAH, DEUCALION THE WAVES WILL BEAT AGAINST THE SHORE DESPITE THE HOMOSAPIENS LIFE WILL SPRING FROM ANYTHING FOR ISIS NURSES EVERYONE BUT LIFE IS IN THE PENDULUM THAT POWER CAN'T DEFEND YOU FROM ZEUS LOCKED HIS DADDY IN HELL, BUT HIS DADDY RETURNED ON THE CLOCK, AND HIS DADDY IS ALIVE AND WELL, HE USES OUR ALARMS TO TO TO TALK, HIS BIG HAND AND LITTLE HAND ARE WRAPPED ROUND MY NECK WHILE MARX BLASPHEMES THE CLOCK ON THE ALTAR OF YOUR BOSSES DESK KRONOS WILL EAT YOUR CHILDREN, WHERE IS ZEUS TO STOP HIM, KRONOS KILLED HIS FATHER CHAOS SO YOU CAN'T GET THE DAY OFF WE'D SEND HIM BACK TO HELL BUT TARTARUS WAS LAID OFF, AND NOW THEY'RE SELLING DOLLARS FOR DOLLARS IN THIS DECADENT GOTHAM, THE FORECAST IS CALLING FOR RAIN, YOU WONDER WHAT DAD WILL SAY, YOU WONDER IF TIME REMAINS OR IF IT'S JUST IN THE BRAIN, BRING THE KIDS TO BE SLAIN, ADDRESS THE ONE WHENCE YOU CAME, EVERYONE KNOWS THAT GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO PRAY! YOU HEAR THEM IN THE STREET, APRES MOI LE DELUGE! THE WATER HITS YOUR FEET, EVERYONE'S GONNA LOSE! YOUR BANK BEGINS TO FLOOD, YOU START TO BUILD AN ARC! BUT IT'S TOO LATE TO START, THIS IS THE PART WHERE DARK EMBARKS: FROM THE WATER FROM THE WATER FROM THE WATER FROM THE WATER ATRAHASIS, UTNAPISHTIM, NOAH, DEUCALION THE WAVES WILL BEAT AGAINST THE SHORE DESPITE THE HOMOSAPIENS LIFE WILL SPRING FROM ANYTHING FOR ISIS NURSES EVERYONE BUT LIFE IS IN THE PENDULUM THAT POWER CAN'T DEFEND YOU FROM
8.
Entropy 03:02
ENTROPY I’M ALL ALONE IN A BRAVE NEW WORLD IN A BRAVE NEW WORLD IN A BRAVE NEW WORLD oh i woke up very distressed // feeling like i’m on the mary celeste // the whole ships being carried away Dionysus and I watch the berries decay oh I go to dust my bust of freud, is it I or my libido that was just destroyed?, just reflected onto mirrored waters that appear unbothered, am I paranoid? oh everywhere yellow machinery, dreary scenery, perhaps God is dreaming me? these white coated creatures are poltergeists come to haunt the only light alive in this lonely night oh I don’t believe a word that they’re telling me, smoke and mirrors, smoke and mirrors, I know I’m alone in here but I’m soaked in fear that open ears can hear what God is telling me! CHORUS time for the reconstruction! // i’ll build the world from scratch! // no authority no corruption! // just God and I, no strings attached! // equals at last, co-creators like minded creatures in a barren vast theatre the Bard would be proud of this world in a bottle but i’m feeling like Othello now and God is Iago! whispering and whispering and making me believe that my situation is all make believe // but now I know you’re only here to cause me agony by repeating the same things the poltergeists would say to me oh so now you’ve betrayed me too, huh, you think i’m crazy too, huh, you want me to take the soma powder and believe this cruel culture over powers ours??? CHORUS L take the knife now, R no, put the knife down, L if i go it all goes R i can’t turn the lights out. L the universe has chosen you R I think I finally understand L you know what you’re suppose to do R I’m the one, the son of man. it depends on me to let the energy descend on these entities to let the tendancy towards homogeneity fine’ly achieve the death of heat— total entropy— the way that it was meant to be. CHORUS
9.
what do you deserve? nothing. a warm place to burn? nothing. some kind of heaven that you earned? nothing. maybe just some bread and a place to lay your head? no nothing. running water and a fridge? and an oven? or a cage and a jailer and a penance? nothing. no reward nor a punishment, not from God or the Government, none of it, absolutely nothing! what do you deserve, little ego unprepared? is it health care? welfare? electric chair? nothing. money in the bank or some fuel in the tank? nothing. nothing, nothing. let me tell you something you don’t deserve to know, your needs are just assumptions based on almost nothing. i know what you want, to get back in mummy’s oven. nestled in the walls of love and warmth and safety and fuzzy nothing, I’ll tell you what you want: to fall asleep and not be scared to have your father’s fingers running through your hair while you close your eyes and stare into a fuzzy screen that doesn’t care where you work or what you wear and if you’re fiscally prepared for something. do you deserve a banquet or a dungeon? you deserve nothing, a portal into nothing, abandon all your wants and give your heart away to love, cause love imbues the very essence of mental nothing, i kill a beast so I can eat and both of us are loving. I’m the beast that God will eat, welcome home to nothing! immolation is a sacrifice you never knew you wanted cause you didn’t understand a world that’s fully haunted, You wear the mask and wear it proud cause underneath it’s nothing, if you took it off you would understand nothing! Let the nothing lead you pitter patter into senselessness where you’ll be more and more sensitive with less and less to sense. in the cosmic depth the love you feel is dense, intensely embedded in the forever tense. forever. you don’t have to shit or eat or cleanse or make amends, you’re engulphed by an immense love equivocal to rest, your words are heard by everyone that lives inside of you so speak kindly when you do cause you don’t wanna waste a breath, close your eyes and exit from the world that isn’t true. put your palm on nothing’s breast, enter life inside of death.

about

Help: Philosopher. Schizophrenic. Dying. Knows.

All the monetary contributions to this album are going to pay my exorbitant tuition. Thank you for your kindness.

credits

released October 2, 2012

All the beats stolen without permission from some of the most talented producers alive and operating. See track details for links.
Recorded/Mixed by Mitch Holtby.
Art by Joe Gurba / Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio

OLD UGLY Recording Co. // 2012 // OU0040
www.olduglyco.com

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Help Edmonton, Alberta

experiment: schizophrenic philosopher in his final hours tries to reconcile the phenomenon of a detachable ego with his elaborate epistemology.

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